A truly inspired haiku

My neighbors do flee
Because they think I will bite.
And they're right. I will.

oh, and also....

i think the comments thing is working again. i have no idea why. God has willed it.
an update on my cousins upstairs neighbors (the ones who say "Zoom" when they do it...loudly....for all of fifteen seconds): So, apparently despite being civil while informing them of their loud ways, my cousin has had no relief from their quietness-challenged disorder.......also known as QCD.........it's a medical designation, look it up......anyway, so i asked for their phone number, and fully plan on calling them at all hours of the day and night (since i'm studying anyway) and asking if i can talk to.....random people that i know they won't know....and since they themselves have some fairly interesting and "different" sounding names (one is pronounced like Febreeze), the names i pick will be interesting and different too....such as "Bounty" or "Snuggle Soft"...as in "Hi! May I speak to Glade Warm Ups?"...now, in their usual drug induced state, they may actually understand what i'm saying....so my backup plan is to just call and hang up......or call and ask them how big their legs and thighs are, then, when they say "what?!?" say "isn't this kentucky fried chicken?" (yes, that's an old one.....)......
okay, no more procrastination...i'm going to study....and NOW, you may feel free to comment (it better work)......

The countdown begins...

I have an exam friday. It is now saturday. By now self-preservation has usually kicked in, and my mind miraculousy remembers how to concentrate. I cram four and a half weeks of info into my brain, and somehow pull off a pretty good grade. Not so this time. I do NOT want to study. I want to watch the Dog: The Bounty Hunter marathon tomorrow. Twenty-four hours of Dog Chapman and his Dogisms. I want to grab a huge piece of cake, a glass of lactose-intolerant friendly milk, and revel in the fact that all I have on my list of things to do is to watch Dog. Oh, and watch Beth, his wife, and wonder how her size 55GG breasts don't cause her much much pain. Sigh....wait, I bought a lottery ticket yesterday. Maybe I won? Not that that would help with not studying for this exam...I'd still study and take it and pass....and still finish med school, and still go through residency, and still practice medicine....but it would be so much more enjoyable knowing that i don't HAVE to, but instead that i WANT to........isn't that true about life in general though? everything is so much more enjoyable when you don't HAVE to do it....when I was a kid, I used to love to wash the dishes...we're talking like seven years old....now, i despise it, and make it a point not to do it...my incredibly significant other does it for me....even though he complains...he still does it. That's what makes him so fricken awesome. Doing dishes. Good relationships are that simple.
Okay, I've procrastinated long enough. Happy saturday, and don't forget to watch the Dog marathon tomorrow on A&E.

Haiku on....the gastrointestinal system

Hepatitis A
Fecal-oral transmittance
No more Taco Bell.

Haikus on...traffic

Oh you red car man
Why you so mean to me, huh?
Fine, don't let me merge!

You cut me off, jerk!
You better feel ashamed!
But of course, you don't.

Look, a car flipped!
Let's all stop and stare so that
Fire trucks can't come.

Stop me for speeding?
But I'm on the freeway, and
You're LAPD!
I'll show you my breasts!
Oh, you're gay. Then I'll bribe you.
No? You're gay AND rich.

It's only been....11 months

So, I've decided to start blogging again. I made such an effort with my first try, I know. I've come to the realization that I need to start complaining to the world at large about, well, the world at large. Let's start with......neighbors. Just neighbors in general. Why are there so many that are inconsiderate? My cousins neighbors keep her up until all hours of the night, either by smoking pot, stomping around, having sex, or doing all three. As an interesting side note, they apparently like saying "Zoom" while they do it. How inconsiderate.
My neighbors like to park like morons. In a cul-de-sac you still have to park normally. You cannot, or rather, SHOULD NOT, park perpendicular to the curb. It irritates me, not to mention people then have to turn around in our driveway (or, better yet, hit a car parked on the street legally) to get out of the cul-de-sac. This may seem minor to you, but when you're looking out of the window every five seconds as someone pulls around (there's a brothel across the street--shhh, it's such a well kept secret that everyone knows about it) to make sure they don't hit your car (again) it becomes irritating. Then of course, when you start doing something about it, you become some sort of monster. So be it, I'll gladly take on the role
(and have) if it means you park normally. Of course, it also irritates me that there are people packed in like sardines in many of these houses (illegal immigrants--30+ to a house) that is just ruining the neighborhood. Don't get me started on the illegal thing--i'll save that for another post. A much longer post. One you won't want to read unless you have the same problem...and if you live in the United States, you do. At any rate, having taken on the burden of neighborhood activist, I find myself just a little stressed out. It's tough fighting against illegal immigrants/inconsiderate neighbors. I'll do it though, for my neighbors that are elderly, retired, and have nowhere else to go. They can't move away from the increasing crime, the graffiti, shopping cart abandonment (my biggest pet peeve) and I won't leave them here to rot in it. I just won't. So that pretty much sums up what's taken up my time for the last...11 months. It's fun but tiring. Oh look, someone at my neighbors house just parked illegally. Off I go to call the Sheriff's.